Surrounded by people yet all alone. This isn't a well versed topic. I've lived this and struggled with it throughout my life. Can you can relate? Maybe you're feeling this now, or maybe you struggled with this when you first became a mom, or when you moved to a new city. It's that feeling of constantly being surrounded by your children, your spouse or your family - yet you feel constantly alone, like you don't relate to others, or you don't quite fit the mold.
Change is difficult and I think that's what causes us to feel empty or alone. You close up and continue to live every day yet you have lost your sparkle. Maybe this is you now, or maybe life has treated you well and this is foreign - great!
Feeling alone is not something I go around talking about or I'm proud of, actually it's quite the opposite. But, I'm hopeful someone out there is screaming: "Yes! This is Me!" You are not alone my friend! Most of us have that feeling of being empty or alone at one point or another. Hang in there!
Last week my family went camping, we had a great time and settled into a spot next to the playground. I was hopeful my children would make some new friends that would keep them busy. I was wrong. There were some great kids who wanted to play, but, my daughter wanted no part of it. There was one young girl in particular who kept coming over and asking her to play and my almost seven year old kept saying, no thanks. At least she was polite.
She choose to do her summer school workbook instead of playing with new friends. I watched her sit at the picnic table as the kids played in the sand, built sand castles and ran around laughing and talking to one another. I noticed her watch the kids, then return to her workbook. I wondered if she felt alone. I felt sad that she didn't want to play. Did she think she wouldn't fit in? Where did these feelings come from that caused her to not to join the others?
But as I watched my daughter I realized she was incredibly content just sitting there with our family. A few minutes late her younger brother came over and they started laughing and tickling each other and I realized that they are best friends. It's okay if she doesn't want to join the others.
It's okay if you don't always fit the mold. You won't belong to every group, people may exclude you for reasons you're unaware of and that's fine- that group just isn't for you. Tell yourself, it's okay. My daughter didn't fit the mold of these kids, but she was content playing with her brother and working on her book. My heart was full watching them play together. Life will always have its ups and downs. We just can't get stuck down. We will all feel alone or empty from time to time, find your tribe. Find the people that will love you just as you are, those are the people that will help get your sparkle back and help you to feel full and alive.
By Andrea Bertels